A Letter To The Past

Dear 2009 Me,

It seems like only yesterday but in reality 2009 was now 8 years ago and you would not believe what has happened in these 8 years. Right now you are in your first year of sixth form and really only just scraping by academically; you’re going to resit the Research and Ethics exam another three times and you will still only get a C. But that’s okay as when you get your A Level results next year you’re going to be so happy that you actually got 3 C’s. You will not attend university the way your friends do as you need a break from studying. But having a break from education after A Levels will be the best thing you will ever do. I don’t think you would believe me if I told you that I’ve got a 2:1 degree and that I completed this full time course at night while working full time in the day. Even more unbelievably that I’m now training to be a Primary school Teacher with a job ready in September as a Teacher of Special Educational Needs. At the moment the thought of speaking in class still terrifies you and you still go into ‘tomato mood’ when asked a question in class; this will pass I promise and your confidence will soar higher than you can imagine.

Before we go any further I think we need to talk about your ‘style’. Although black, red and blonde hair is a look in my opinion we actually rocked it’s not a look to get attached to. You’re about to go on a hair dying journey that will see you change hair colours more often than some people change their socks; we are currently in a grey phase but I think that might stay for a while. Also, the emo look is helping you to define who you want to be, but don’t be scared to try other looks, especially with your makeup as the whole big black eyes look still haunts me to this day via our passport picture.

Now I know full well what topic is currently occupying your mind at the moment; the topic of love. Don’t be so eager to fall in love and settle down, I know this may shock you as by now I know you had a different life path for us, but I’m not married, no children, no house and currently single. Yes I will agree with you I didn’t expect this either at this point in our life but what can I say, shit happens? I do have one piece of important advice though in approximately 4 months time someone is going to give you a choice; either all or nothing. Always say all, although that choice and the person posing that question are no longer in your life and you now know you were never meant to stay together, the memories and happiness created from that choice will last a lifetime. The memories are a little hard to think about at the moment but I know in time they will not be and I will let my future self inform you that I’m right at some point down the line. Love is tough and heartbreaks hurts like hell but it is ALWAYS worth it and most importantly remember you will always love again, something I need to remember in the present.

On a lighter note, you have a much better relationship with your family now. I know that might sound absurd to you at this moment as I know things aren’t brilliant but things really do improve! Your cats are now 12, Oscar is still as grumpy as ever and is most definitely a house cat, Smudge enjoys moments spent sitting on the shed but doesn’t tend to venture much further either.

What I really want to say though is hang on in there. I know you are at a very low point currently but things do change. The past 8 years of my life have overall been filled with fun and laughter that I wouldn’t change for the world. I will warn you 2016 is not a good year for us in terms of our emotional and mental state, but 2017 seems to be shaping up to be a great year so far so just ride the storm, clear skies are on their way.

Love 2017 Me

x

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2009          Vs        2017

Still love my 2009 look though!

“Inhale the future, exhale the past”

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